Unstuck in Time

It's Hard to Get By Just Upon a Smile

So maybe I don't quite appreciate the tonal shifts from episode to episode. After the high stakes darkness of the previous episode, for a season finale, this episode felt quite disposable for much of its running time.

Talking about stakes is something that sort of bothers me. It's something that Sam Van Hallgren did all the time on Filmspotting But really, this episode felt like it had no stakes.
What were the stakes?
-would Maxxie go to Anwar's birthday party despite Muslim intolerance towards homosexuality
-would Tony be able to finally convince Michelle to get back with him
-would Sid be able to tell Cassie about his feelings before it was too late

While in the grand scheme of the show, those really are some high stakes, instead much of the time was spent on Anwar preparing for his birthday party and his zany DJing uncle. And while I was a fan of Angie and Chris, the plot twist that she is engaged was just lame. Even the rush for Sid to find Cassie was deflated by shear zaniness. Sid being committed. Really?
The only really strong moment for me was Maxxie and Anwar's dad, which was able to show tolerance in a mature and realistic way, and makes me wish that more people were that level headed.

Luckily, the episode was still able to pull of an astounding conclusion, in a way that made me feel that maybe the creators were so excited about the execution of the end, that maybe they quickly overlooked the rest of the episode. Of course it reminded me of Magnolia, which really can never be a bad thing, but it also really is a great combination of plot and lyrical content.

So on to Season 2. I have to wonder what the impact of Tony's accident will be. It should be interesting to see such an arrogant self-confident character who basically think he can do and get away with whatever he wants struggle. And what about Sid and Cassie? Is she still leaving?

Sometimes I Think I Was Born Backwards

While I have already made mention of the ways that Skins so deftly balances comedy and drama within each episode, the tonal shifts that the show is able to handle from episode to episode are also quite impressive. While I didn't totally love the comedic ungrounded shift of the Anwar and Maxxie episode, it could not have been any further a cry from this episode featuring Effy, which was so dark, twisted, and generally fucked up. Even the little bit of humor ("What is so sexy about thighs? What can you possibly do with a thigh?) was undercut by the present awkwardness of that exchange being between Tony and his father.
This awkwardness was then carried through the episode (at least before things just got weirder and darker) with Tony crashing Chris's. The strain of the group was palpable. Actually, and to my surprise, I was actually feeling sort of sad for Tony who was lonely enough to turn to the paperman. The fact that Tony later confesses to feeling like everyone wants a ball buster around made it seem even sadder that while Tony is conniving and manipulative, he does it partly because he thinks it's who his friends want him to be.
After finding Josh such a sweet counterpoint to Tony in his first appearance, it was really surprising to see him so dark and menacing. He first seemed to be someone that was most likely over-medicated by his psychologist mother, but there is something royally wrong with him. And what is with the villians of the series wearing scarves? Mad Twatter did too.
Though Effy really hasn't done anything since her first appearance at the beginning of the series where she had Tony help her sneak back home, it was really interesting to have an episode feature her. Though I was already told that she wasn't going to speak, I still found it to be surreal and mysterious, in a way that means that I don't want an explanation. Her dreamy monologue before passing out was enough for me ("Sometimes I think I was born backwards. You know, come out my mom the wrong way. I hear words go past me backwards.") and while I guess it makes me wonder if her inability to speak is psychological or by choice, I kind of like it as just something weird. I sort of dread the idea of her being like Silent Bob, where any time she does speak it's supposed to be profound (which is sort of what happened in the season finale with her telling Tony what a twat he is.)
I don't want to finish writing without just mentioning how much I loved the confrontation between Sid and Tony. I finally feel like I can begin to understand why Sid is so loyal to Tony, even without much of a real explanation. Also, the scenes between Sid and Cassie were so sweet.
Josh's ultimatum to Tony had to be one of the most fucked up things I have seen on television, ever. EVER.

Lunch

Boo for forgetting my lunch today. After all that effort, I have a newfound respect for mothers everywhere.

Music Now!

I don't know what it is about Scottish bands, but in between The Frames and Glen Hansard, Glasvegas, and The Twilight Sad, I can't get enough. But by far my favorite is Frightened Rabbit. I cannot stop listening to their album "Sings the Greys," and cannot wait for their new album. Here's their new single and video "Heads Roll Off":

It's Like a Fucking Episode of the OC in Here

Clearly Michelle and Tony can't be our star-crossed lovers. So is it Tony and Abigail (I'm sure she'll also be pissed when she finds out about what Tony did with those pictures, yah?), Michelle and Josh, Sid and Cassie, Cassie and her new boyfriend (though they have so much in common, depression, self-loathing), Malcolm and Michelle's mother? Boy, that's a lot of romantic conflict and potential.

While this was Michelle's episode, it was hard to feel much sympathy for her. Even she has proclaimed herself as a sexual object, so to see her actually emotionally distraught by Tony's actions really seemed like payback for her ability to take him back all the time. Thankfully, and surprisingly she did not take him back this time. "I think I might love you" just didn't cut it. Again, Michelle's weaknesses seem to be directly in correlation with her mother, who also allows herself to be treated as a sexual object (enough about her ass, gross; "I really loved having sex with him"), and has been married and divorced several times. Malcolm may not be as bad as Tony, but he doesn't exactly seem a great fit for Michelle's mother. Nonetheless, she is quick to want to take him back.
Hopefully this is the episode (and I imagine it is with only 2 episodes left in the season) that there are actual repercussions for Tony's actions, and everything doesn't just return to the status quo. It would be kind of hard to believe Sid going back after finally having the gaul to punch Tony in the face. And Michelle finally realizing that he is "lying, sneering, taunting, and manipulative."
Usually, the injection of new characters for the convenience of conflict is bothersome, but it worked for me here. Even if we never knew about Abigail's brother Josh before, he served as a nice counterpoint to Tony ("You're very upfront. Is there any other way to be.") Their relationship seemed sweet, and it's too bad that Tony was so conniving and manipulative to ruin it. I can't imagine that this is the end of it though. The truth will have to come out somehow. It's kind of hard to believe that Michelle thought that Josh's psychological problems would really come out with nude pictures of is sister, but I'll go with it.

I also loved the music in this episode with the use of Magnetic Fields and that short cue from Bright Eyes "First Day of My Life." That use of music alone could have sold me on Josh and Michelle by reminding me of this:

Lastly, I really want a Bongo Dongo Dog.

Looking for Your Sexy Saturday Night Leopard Skin Thong

Maybe they should have called this episode something like "Anwar and Maxxie Go to Russia" or "Skins, Russian Style." This was by far the lightest and zaniest episode of the show so far, which definitely threw me off after the higher emotional moments of the last episode. It was still a lot of fun, and a nice diversion, but so far the low point of the show for me.

Anwar and Maxxie have really worked well as comic relief, Anwar being especially hilarious, but while Anwar's muslim background and Maxxie's homosexuality could make for interesting drama and conflict, it didn't really do much here. I think it's commendable that Maxxie is actually a fully realized character, emotional and sensitive, rather than flamboyant, but while the mix of drama and comedy usually works so well, the story here was so filled with hijinks that the emotions never really resonated. I kept waiting for the dramatic moment for everything to change (like the way the Jal and Chris episodes were able to turn themselves around), but didn't find it in the main story.
Instead, it was Chris and Angie finally getting together. "Let me in. I'll show you my reverse psychology." And that Decemberist music cue! And that next morning. "I don't have sex with my 17 year old students. How old are they normally?"

And maybe a little in Sid seeing Maxxie's drawing of Cassie.
Unfortunately though, because of the zany hijinks, the episode felt wildly out of continuity. Those crazy Russians with their hoses, glue factories, Neil Diamond, Friends watching ("We were on a break"), and money scams. Also, I know that Tom was just written into the show, but can they kill him off and fast.

And what the fuck is wrong with Tony? I don't even know what to make of his pass at Maxxie.

You Can Say Goodbye to Sunshine, Sunshine

I have been so ready to start blogging about multiple episodes for expediency (I wanted to be caught up by now) but I keep finding so much to talk about after each episode that I can't force myself to condense anymore than I already am. Even grabbing screengrabs, there are so many highlights and excellent moments in each episode that it's hard to decide what to focus on.

Sid has been my favorite character so far, and it's no wonder that I absolutely was enthralled with this episode. There was so much going on, and yet it was handled with such cohesion.

For a show about a bunch of teenagers, I remain transfixed by the role of adults and parents, and Sid's dad was no exception. Of course, Sid's dad was a real asshole, but again, it isn't that simple. His constant repetition of words and use of short sentences ("Why are you speaking in such short sentences?; "You snook, you snook, you snuck out"), Mark is merely attempting to be a hard ass, rather than the weak and sniveling man that he really is. Besides the tough guy performance (including being an absolute klutz), there is the way that he seems overtaken by Tony telling him about his landfill project, as if aiming to please, and then the final reveal of Sid's mother leaving, Sid berating his father and him letting him get away with it, and then the way Mark has to ask Sid if he can enter his room to return his TV and stereo. You can almost see Sid's weakness's in Mark.



And then there was the romantic drama. Tony really is a manipulative, and even I found myself believing that he was going to do what was best for everyone and give Tony a shot with Michelle, but really he is so conniving that I'm not really sure what he's going to do. It's pretty masterful that at no time do I think that he is simply indecisive, but it's instead that he believes in his motto "That's the great thing about the universe. Unpredictable. That's why it's so much fun...Bang." Things can change in an instant, and Tony rolls with it. (Is this foreshadowing what a difference an instant can make from the spoilers I've accidentally come across about the season finale?)

And that motto of unpredictability and change was followed through the rest of the episode as Sid's relationships with both his father, Michelle, and Cassie took drastic and dramatic turns in an instant.

Other highlights (because the show isn't all drama and theme; it's damn funny):
-"And no Asian Fannie Fan"
-Anwar and Maxxie as Sid's angel and devil
-Sid's Me and Dog shirt
-"I'll kill you you fucking flat chested cocksucking spastic horse fucker."
-Sid getting beat up by a girl gang and then getting pissed on by a homeless man"
-"Don't leave me hanging, G"

Let's Have Some Harmony Here

And now back to our regularly scheduled program....

Being that I watched most of this episode Thursday night, and then rewatched, this is far less a first impression than my writing on the first three.

That being said, I really enjoyed this episode far more than the Jal episode because of its humor as well its smaller moments (namely the unconventional romantic ones), as well as the balance that the show has struck so well so far. Each episode has been so entertaining, and while easy to watch, funny, and light hearted, also have a real strong amount of depth, drama, and pathos.


While most teen shows either abandon parents altogether, leaving one to wonder who in the world takes care of these kids, or streamlines them in with their own subplot about an adulterous affair, I am really impressed with the way adults and parents have been used on the series. The show is really reveling in the trope of childhood abandonment (with Cassie, Jal, and now Chris) but in such different ways. These aren't just deadbeat parents (not all of them at least) but each failing their children on different levels. That probably makes the show sound so much darker than it actually is, considering it of course is so fun to watch these kids drink, take E, and fuck.

The amount of sex and male nudity has me really pondering what it is about nudity and sex that we as Americans get so worked up about. For whatever reason, without even delving into the sex vs. violence exposure debate, we as a Americans find it so that any actor that is willing to bare it all (outside of pornography) is so daring and praiseworthy (i.e.: Viggo Mortensen's bathhouse scene in Eastern Promises), and yet here is an actor basically doing the same type of work on a weekly television series who probably is not receiving much praise at all. Meanwhile, he's showing a wide range of emotions, and not doing some hammy Russian accent.


Highlights:
-Angie coming to Chris's party, the music changing to "Lift Us Up" for what seems to be a forthcoming romantic moment, only to be ruined by Chris's erection
-"Speak for yourself, Casanova."
-Sid talking about his physical needs to a drunk girl
-everything about Michelle's boobs and the dramatic clincher of "Your eyes are supposed to fucking blur too."
-"Your stiffy is digging into my back."
-"Receipts don't cover Pop Tarts"
- Cassie abruptly asking Sid out on a date.
- The simple fact that Chris wasn't responsible for Peter's death. I was really expecting some really lame high drama there, but it instead hit the perfect note.

Don't Whisper Yell At Me

So it looks like there is hope for Friday Night Lights, though I still have my doubts.

And I Don't Want to Miss a Thing

While CNN was discussing the satellite plummeting to Earth, they of course couldn't resist showing footage from Deep Impact and Armageddon, as well as saying that the President will be shooting down the missile.

Of course, this got me thinking, if the missile misses, will George W have to board the satellite and self-detonate it while he tells Jenna and Barbara that he loves them?

Double Super Chunk Sprinkle Surprise

I'm trying to catch up with Skins as fast as possible. I often find that when I burn through a series, I don't remember much, but am hoping that if I blog each episode as I go, I will remedy that.

Based on the first two episodes, I wasn't quite sure what the format of the show would be, but it seems that the format is to focus on an individual character every week while still advancing the plot. As with any ensemble, there are always going to be favorites, and from even the pilot, which I guess was Tony-centric, Jal really hadn't made much of an impression at all. It seems curious that the third episode featured her with how small of a role she seemed to have so far. Because of that, I'd have to say that I didn't especially enjoy the first 25 minutes of this episode very much.

While there were some funny moments with the music instructor being told the band swears too much ("Fuck my donkey! That's good!") and Sid in the dressing room ("She didn't like it! Too small!"; what is it with this show and it's brilliant use of the seeming sounds of sex?) I was really just waiting for the episode to return to the plot lines I loved so much in the first two episodes.

Once Chris, Tony, Maxxie, Sid, Michelle, and Cassie made it to the party, the episode really picked up.

In the first episode, I never saw the dub-step party girl (Abigail?) as an actual threat and conflict for Tony and Michelle, but again, I am curious to see how that will all play out. I guess the rectangle just expanded to include another member, though I am sure there will be a few more women in Tony's sights.

And poor Sid. I really do find myself attached to the characters that just sincerely and genuinely want the girl, so hearing Michelle and then Jal tell him they love him " more like a brother thing" made me cringe in a good way. Because of her sincere and genuine affection for Sid, I felt bad for Cassie too.

Most surprising was the really quick resolution to the Mad Twatter plotline with the clever twist of his associate William.

Somehow, the way the stories intertwined, I still found myself caring when Jal's clarinet was destroyed, and when she caught a vulnerable glimpse of her father ("I got skin. I got kin to think of") but I was still not entirely sold on the distance Jal felt with her father, and while I assume that her mother must have died, I was simply left wondering what tragic thing happened to her.

Still an enjoyable episode, but I hope that the other episodes cover more interesting ground with an individual character.

Amino Fats and Fishy Oils, They're Cool

I am tempted to describe Skins as a teen issues show, maybe Degrassi, on crack, but the acting is just so much better and it is actually feeling so much more subversive so far.

What a wonderful misdirection for the opening of the episode. I entirely expected the opening shot to be Cassie's dilapidated and broken home, only to find out it was a food fight party at Michelle's. Instead, Cassie's home life comes with a wonderful nuance and contradiction. It is joyful and bright, her parents are horny and in love, and they love their new baby boy. The problem is that they are so self involved that they don't pay enough attention to Cassie to realize what's wrong, just assuming that she is getting both the attention and help she needs at the clinic.

Without the right balance, the relationship between Alan and Cassie could have come off as creepy; an old man telling a young girl that he loves her, but I was really moved by the depiction of the one adult that seems to really care about Cassie, who is so desperate to find someone who cares. I loved that final moment in the diner while Cassie tried to make excuses and use her usual deceptions for not eating. Also, maybe I am an absolute sucker for pining and lingering romance, but I sure hope that Sid starts to care and have feelings for her, even after two episodes.

A little bit of me is worried that in a way, Angie is almost like the guiding adult, a Miss Bliss or Mitch Leery, but again, her character strikes such a balance between the responsible wiser adult and a naive young adult that makes mistakes in a way I really don't think I have ever seen on a show that I feel like I don't have to worry too much. Plus, I feel pretty assured she will do the irresponsible thing and sleep with Chris.

I also can't wait to see how Madison and Sid plays out. Two episodes in and I am already looking forward to seeing how that plays out, Tony and his neighbor, the love rectangle of Sid, Cassie, Michelle, and Tony, and Angie and Chris.

Really, maybe my expectations were extremely lowered by hearing the show continually described as fun trash, which it is in some respects, but as a fan and casual viewer of most teen high school shows from The Wonder Years, Dawson's Creek, The OC, Saved by the Bell, Degrassi: The Next Generation, Friday Night Lights, as well as Buffy Season 1-3, I feel like I'm really seeing something entirely new and original presented in a way I have never seen before.

A Formal Announcement (for one reader)

I don't think I was quite prepared for that.
What wonderful trash!

I've blogged plenty today, so I won't say too much, and will wait to really discuss more until I've watched a couple more episodes and had some time to digest, but here are my initial off the bat questions, and things I can't wait to see play out after just watching one episode.

-How many episodes until Chris does Angie the teacher (or will it be the other way around)?

-Why is Sid even friends with Tony? Just to be closer to Michelle?

-What the fuck is Cassie's deal? Loved the trampoline sex psych out. She's like a mix of Drusilla and the "your aura, it's purple" girl from Almost Famous.

- The French teacher from the all girl's school is Tony's neighbor! Awesome!

Why didn't you push me into watching Skins sooner?

It's Like God's Vagina!

I'm sure that once summer rolls around, everyone will be talking about The Pineapple Express, but what's not to be excited about? Judd Apatow, Seth Rogen, James Franco, and oddly enough, directed by David Gordon Green. All the Real Girls is one of my favorites, and I can't wait to see what David Gordon Green does here with a stoner comedy.

That part where James Franco kicks his foot through the windshield. Hilarious!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Anywhere But Here

This blog entry is definitely late. First, this issue (#10) came out over a month ago (Issue #11 is already out). Second, I first was inspired to write about it almost a week ago when Emily made mention of how she found the end of Amory Wars devastating, which made me think about how not so long ago I had read a comic book that I also considered pretty devastating, and then decided to reread it that next day to find it even more moving and affective than I did the first time around.

I also probably can't continue this entry without mentioning what has kept me from blogging which was this fantastic weekend with Valentine's Day (the first great one in a long time), Emily's parents in town, my cousin Nadia's first birthday, and Emily's aunt's 60th birthday dinner at the Pump Room.

Joss Whedon has always been great at devastating. Although some of those moments have come along with a bit of heavy-handedness, between Buffy, Angel, and Firefly, I can think of several moments that he has written or directed that have had my jaw on the floor or my eyes filling with tears including (spoilers ahead): Buffy closing the portal to Acathia by shoving a sword through Angel as he just regained his soul in "Becoming, Part 2," Buffy realizing the meaning of "death is her gift" in "The Gift," "The Body," "A Hole in the World" and the loss of Fred, Tracey's funeral at the end of "The Message" (which is all the sadder because it also acted as a funeral for Firefly itself), and the shocking deaths in Serenity.

Little did I expect that he would be capable of the same emotion in comic book form.

Season Eight has really been a mixed affair for me. Regardless of the stories being told, the form is just never going to be the same. The three act structure of a television show is not something that lends itself to the new medium. So far, while it's nice to see the plots not constricted by a television budget and the high costs of special effects, allowing the depictions of a giant Dawn, a Slayer Army, and Warren (gross), and it's also just nice to not have to only imagine what has happened to all my favorite characters and to hear them speaking again (really some of the dialogue is so quippy and spot on that I can just hear the actors speaking it while I am reading), I haven't felt very invested in the ongoing plot, especially in the multi-part stories. The one-shots have really allowed Joss to shine in The Chain (Issue #5), but especially here.

I always got the feeling that while Joss Whedon had some impact and guidance with Seasons 6 and 7 of Buffy, he had pretty much handed the reins to the other writers for better or worse while he took the time to develop Firefly. With three shows in production, the man had worn himself thin. The best parts of Season 8 have provided the oppurtunity for Joss not to revise the final seasons of Buffy, but to redirect our viewpoint to the emotional nuances and depths of what took place from the time that Buffy jumped into "heaven" to that final smile when the Hellmouth collapsed in upon itself and it was no longer just her alone to stand against the vampires, demons, and the darkness.

What works so well about "Anywhere But Here" are the revelations we get, and the way they are so masterfully woven and edited together. I really was getting annoyed with a giant Dawn (though it can provide for some funny moments) but even the reveal of what exactly happened between her and Kenny was extremely sad. Maybe Dawn's betrayal and lies are really only so effective because of its juxtaposition with the Willow reveal, but it sure does work.


I guess I never really thought about how Willow could see the choice she made to bring back Buffy as directly leading to the death of Tara. When Season 6 started, the Scooby gang looked anything but happy having to fight without Buffy, and when that lame demon biker gang came in, it seemed all but necessary to bring her back, but for Willow, Xander, Dawn, and even Giles, they could have turned their backs on Sunnydale and tried to live a semblance of a normal life. It really makes Tara's death seem all the more tragic. I can't wait to see how the rift between Willow and Buffy plays out, though I have my doubts that it will at all with writers switching for another multi-parter.

And yet with all the emotions already on high for this story, Joss was able to add yet another layer of tragedy which makes this issue even sadder. As explained in the letters section, to promote the launch of the comic, Joss hosted a contest on Myspace asking fans to write in telling how Buffy changed their lives. The winner would be drawn into the comic for a guest shot. That winner was Robin whose husband wrote the letter. Robin suffers from acute schizophrenia, and as her condition began to worsen she discovered Buffy on DVD. The letter describes how she began to relate to characters like Drusilla and how the character of Buffy "gave her the strength to battle her demons." It might seem a little trite, but to me, it's one of those true stories that is just powerful enough to be inspiring that someone is able to find such identification with a piece of art, especially one that I love so much.

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose

Sometimes a show just astounds you by doing what it naturally has set out to do, but you never realized you were waiting for it it to get there. Last week's Friday Night Lights bowled me over.

The fact that I am writing about an episode that aired a week ago, that I finally got around to watching this morning should make pretty clear how I was beginning to feel about Friday Night Lights. It was a show that I still cared about, but it wasn't exactly appointment television. I had let three episodes get stockpiled before I got around to watching them sporadically through the week, and for the most part, those episodes were underwhelming. Carlotta stereotypically had to go back to her family in Guatemala, Diego's gangbanger friends came and shook stuff up (poor Weevil), Riggins again couldn't catch a break, Street continued to figure out his place in Dillon no longer being able to play football by becoming an auto dealer, Lyla continued to find Jesus (and Logan Huntzberger in the process) and Smash had another run in with racism that was far less affective the second time around. In fact, the entire season has kind of been a drag and a downer. But somehow that was all just a slow build to this one moment that nearly drove me to tears, and another that just put a silly grin on my face.

Poor Matt Saracen. We've seen some angst from him, and we've seen him struggle to take care of his grandma and balance his life, but we've never seen him let loose the way he did here and seem so lost. While all the things leading to his breakdown this episode have been swirling around for the entire season and series, it's easy to forget how hard he has it, and just how many times he has been abandoned and how much has been put on his shoulders. I never liked him and Carlotta being together, but to lose her and then have to step up again as caretaker to his grandmother was an effective combination by the writers, and it was easy to understand how looking back, he'd feel the same way about Eric, Julie, Carlotta, and his father. "Everyone is always leaving me." Heartbreaking stuff. The show always makes it that overtly it seems that Riggins can't catch a break, but it's a lot subtler and sadder what has happened to Matt.

And as for Landry and Tyra. I honestly never knew I wanted them together so badly, but it really just put a giant smile across my face. Usually I'd find myself rooting for the cute pixie indie girl (or guy a la Piz), but not here. Plus, after the drama of the murder plot, it was nice to see a light and jokey Landry again. "Which movie is going to be more conducive to romance, is it going to be Jaws or is it going to be Wrath of Khan?"

I wouldn't be surprised if tonight is the series finale of the show due to the strike, and the shows abysmal ratings, so it's definitely sad to see such a bright spot so close to the end, but considering it's a show that I never even imagined I would watch or like (me and football, not so much) I'm glad I've been watching.

America, Fuck Yeah

It’s Super Tuesday, and as if I wasn’t jaded about the system to begin with. I’m sitting in St. Luke’s Academy, my polling location as I even type this, and if I wasn’t already intent on voting, I’d have to leave and forfeit my right to vote entirely because of course even this part of the process isn’t running so smoothly. Instead of simply handing my voter registration card over, filling out my ballot, and leaving, I’m stuck here waiting to see if they get the voter registration activation computer (don’t even ask me what that is or what it does other than the obvious) working, so I can vote provisionally. Meanwhile, I’m just left wondering why I felt the need to attempt to get involved this year in the first place.

With all this talk of change, and how historic of a moment this is, I’m none too excited about anything. Big confession. I’m 24, and this is the first election I’ll ever have voted in. That’s right, I stood idly by in 2004, and can only justify it by being so jaded to think, and unfortunately almost know, that in Illinois, this wonderful blue state, my vote pretty much doesn’t matter. Like there was no doubt in November of 04 that the state would go to John Kerry and the Democrats, there is no doubt now that in the primary, this state will go to Barack Obama. And I’m not drinking the kool-aid.

In December, around the time of the Iowa caucuses, out of a little discussion and a lot of boredom, I decided that I would take an investment in the election this year. That I would attempt to do my research, learn about the candidates, and become an educated voter. What did I find out so far? Basically, that everything I ever learned in my media studies classes was right. That the more media coverage one watches, the less they know. That with what seems like tons of choices, it really all boils down to a lot of the same coverage, filled with sound bites, cat fighting, and no real information. That who the media decided to cover, because how is the first viable black candidate versus the first viable female candidate not the most interesting story to cover, basically can make or break a campaign (poor Edwards and poor America; it was so tempting to still vote for you with your name still on that ballot). After two months, I can’t say I really know much more about the candidates than I did two months ago other than their campaign platform, and who snubbed who. I heard the word change bandied about enough.

Add on to that the fact that the ballot also contains a bunch of important local government positions, and the amount of information on those candidates is scarce to none without really digging, something I really did not have time for. Voting for names that sound familiar or just good, or someone I may have shook hands with in front of the el station or grocery is not the way I wanted to make voting decisions.

After 30 minutes, this whole voting mess sort of got sorted out, but it means I still have to call the Board of Elections, who still has to decide if my ballot actually counts based on the affidavit I filled out with my ballot at a precinct with bad organization, and no precinct head. And in a room full of adults, who should seemingly take charge and responsibility, and set an example, it was a 16 year old girl that was able to straighten things out and even make sure I could get a ballot.

Hooray for democracy. Here’s to 4 more years of garbage. Should I give John McCain his congratulations already? Plus, I didn’t even get an “I Voted Today” sticker.

Case of the Mondays

 That's Tucker, one of the stars of the Puppy Bowl, one of the highlights of Super Bowl Sunday.  It's too bad he got taken out of the game for unnecessary roughness or something.  How cute!

After a nice weekend, Monday really was a slap in the face.  After pleasantly sleeping in and ditching work this morning, Emily and I trudged through the muck (when will this weather let up!), and I went to yet another daunting and pointless IP panel put on by the career services office.  It is constantly the same old story of a bunch of patent attorneys with technical backgrounds and engineering degrees talking about how important grades are.  It's a little too late for me on all of those fronts as my grade leave a lot to be desired, I have no technical background, nor interest in even working in patents.  Please, just get someone to speak with my background or at least working in my field of interest.  They're out there, right?

Then it was off to work, where I proceeded to summarize a summary already prepared by Westlaw, only to lose two hours of work when Word crashed.  Then, right before I leave I get an e-mail with a memorandum that my supervisor filed that I researched and drafted for, only to find that none of my work was even included in it.  I thought I did good work, but it is seriously discouraging, and I don't really know if I have the guts to ask about it.

To top it all off, seriously, how long is it going to take for her to get over him?! Stop IMing me about it!  You broke up over 5 years ago!

I hope the puppy at the beginning made it a little easier to take that I basically am just complaining.  

Stop Killing Yourself

This post is in tribute to Guy Fieri, but more on that later.

Has it really been a whole month since the last time I blogged? I really hope I don't let it lapse for so long ever again, because as evidenced by when I first started this, I really was enjoying writing and posting.

So why has it been so long? As at least some of you know, oh you many readers, I've just been sort of stressed out, and when I decided to start blogging, I never wanted this to just turn into my personal journal. In fact, I did draft an entry nearly three weeks ago, but out of shear frustration with myself, quickly deleted it because I was finding that I was simply too angry. I might be one, but I hate whiners, and who wants to read someone just venting. Nonetheless, let me still explain myself. This may be a particularly easy semester, but it is still my last. My last semester of law school, and most likely of school generally (as much as I'd love to go get a graduate degree in cinema or media studies) which means that I ultimately need to figure out what to do next. What does it mean not to be a student after twenty years of being one, and that's not even counting preschool? Where will I live? How will I pay rent? Will I have a job that makes me happy, and satisfies me when I have felt so dissatisfied by the legal work I have done so far? Will I be able to stay in Chicago? Will I be able to stay close to my friends, family, and everyone I love? Add in my everyday anxieties, insecurities, and my tendency to over analyze and it's no wonder that some days I wake up scared shitless. But I want to move on. I want to be able to just take things day by day, recognize the people around me that truly care about me and love me and want to see me succeed, buckle down when I need to, have fun when I can, and have faith that everything is going to work out. Wooo, I just got myself a little teary there....

So a little bit of catch up. What's happened since January 2?

Besides school starting, and the fact that at every turn they are already trying to freak every last one of us out about an exam that isn't until July (really, don't forget to actually try to pass the first time), I started back up at the AG's office. So far they've kept me busier, but it doesn't change the fact that I really don't feel very rewarded by the work I am doing. I found out that I am a twink (or I would be if I were in fact a homosexual) from a 47-year-old-pear-shaped-bear who I work with on a daily basis who has a bizarre gay crush on me, though he means well. Heath Ledger died, which had some really odd effect on me. I don't think I have been as shook up by a celebrity death since Kurt Cobain died. I really am deeply and madly in love with Emily, no matter how cliche that sounds. We might both be a mess sometimes, but I really wouldn't have it any other way. My dad moved into a smaller apartment. His moving has really provided a chance for us to bond a little more. I know I can't really count on him all the time, but it is nice to feel that sometimes we are making up for lost time. And speaking of strained paternal relationships, Lost started back up, and again, I have no clue how to even begin to rationalize what in the world is going on on that island. If only I had blogged over the past month. There's probably some great individual entries buried in that mess of a paragraph, and a lot I am missing, but so it is.

On to Guy Fieri:

My very mild obsession with The Food Network, as well as many other things food, means that I have of course viewed my fair share of episodes of Guy Fieri's Diner's, Drive-ins, and Dives. For those not familiar with the show, it is literally a show where one watches Guy Fieri slowly kill himself as he clogs his arteries with the fat and grease of small family breakfast establishments, taquerias, burger joints, barbeque pits, and any other location falling within the category of the title of the show. Watch bleached blonde Guy Fieri take a too large bite out of the offerings of whatever location he is visiting, and watch as his heart slows, his weight increases, and his face turns redder and redder from a poisonous combination of sun burn, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure. Is the man even capable of taking a small bite?

Today for lunch, my sister and I went to Smoque, a barbeque restaurant on the Northwest side that was previously featured on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. It's become a small tradition that my sister Emily and I visit restaurants that we see featured either on Check Please!, Food Network, LTHforum, or hear about on the SOMB. Mostly, our endeavors have focused on the kind of mission that Guy Fieri is partaking in, slowly killing ourselves by gorging ourselves on more protein than one is supposed to eat in one sitting until we feel sick, insisting we'll never do it again, and then returning for more weeks later when we find the time to do lunch or dinner again. Today at Smoque we got one sliced brisket sandwich, one pulled pork sandwich, coleslaw, and sides of mac and cheese, bbq beans, corn bread, and peach cobbler. It was delicious, and some of the best barbeque I have ever had in my life. In fact, it was so good, that we also each took a pound of meat home with us, before we proceeded to continue our other tradition of getting lost and taking the long way home. Last time we went to lunch it ended up being a 6 hour trip. This time we got it cut down to 4, including a trip to the grocery to get rolls to further enjoy our take-out barbeque. I insist that she only does it to spend more time together, bonding, but she would never admit it.